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  • Writer's pictureKim Colman

TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE

Let go of anger, irritation and resentment. You don’t need to forgive the action, just the person, so that YOU can be at peace.

You may be perfectly justified in feeling angry, but look at the high price YOU pay for being the vessel of anger.

Forgiveness does not mean, “What you did is okay to me”. It simply means that, “I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your action”

When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves.

When we practice forgiveness, we do the following:-

  1. We accept the reality of what happened.

  2. We find a way to live in a state of resolution with it.

  3. The process can be gradual.

  4. The process doesn’t necessarily need to include the person you are forgiving.

Remember, FORGIVENESS isn’t something that you do for the other person. It is something that you do for yourself.

Why is FORGIVENESS so hard to do then, if it is something for you?

There could be several reasons why it is so hard to forgive:-

  1. You could be filled with so much rage, retribution and revenge, that you find it so hard to let go of the incident or memory.

  2. You don’t want to let go of your self-identity as a “victim”

  3. You just don’t know how to resolve the situation.

What could you do to help yourself with FORGIVENESS?

  1. Think of the action or incident and accept that it happened and accept your feelings.

  2. Look back at this time and acknowledge the growth that you experienced as a result of what happened.

  3. Now think of the person who wronged you. And see that perhaps they had a flaw and acted out of their limiting beliefs.

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