“It isn’t the things that are happening to us that cause us to suffer, it’s what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening” Our inner self-talk can be more detrimental to us than what is happening to us now or in the past. We are often so hard on ourselves and question our actions, self-worth and ability to cope. We beat ourselves up about things that we may have done wrong, or for situations that happened to us and perhaps we were not in control of. So why is it then, that when someone else is suffering or in need, we can be kind to them and offer encouraging and inspirational words, but not to ourselves?
It always seems easier to offer support, friendship and kindness to others before yourself. I get this, as I too have been in this same boat a few times. When I feel myself going down this spiral of critical inner talk and need to be kind to myself about something that I did wrong or something that happened to me. I ask or tell myself the following things, which really help: - • I can’t change the past but can change my response to it. • I did the best that I could possibly do in that moment. • How is it serving me right now by holding onto this thing or emotion? • What can I do for my inner self that would be kind? • Could I let this go as holding on is not serving me right now? • If I were talking to myself as a best friend, what would I say to her? • My inner critic is not doing me justice me right now, I will put her away. When we can catch that inner critic voice within us, and learn to bypass it, it makes the happenings easier to deal with.
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