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  • Writer's pictureKim Colman



What is Assertiveness?

Definition:- Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights – expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways.

It is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. It is being able to express feelings, wishes, wants and desires appropriately and is an important personal and interpersonal skill.  In all your interactions with other people, whether at home or at work, assertiveness can help you to express yourself in a clear, open and reasonable way, without undermining your own or others’ rights.

Being assertive is not necessarily easy, but it is a skill that can be learned. Developing your assertiveness starts with a good understanding of who you are and a belief in the value that you bring. When you have that, you have the basis of self-confidence. Assertiveness helps to build on that self-confidence and provides many other benefits for improving your relationships and in many other areas of your life.

When you act assertively you act fairly and with empathy. The power you use comes from your self-assurance and not from intimidation or bullying. When you treat others with such fairness and respect, you get that same treatment in return. You are well liked and people see you as a leader and someone they want to work or be with.

Developing your Assertiveness requires you to:-

  1. Value yourself

  2. Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behaviour

  3. Identify your needs and wants

  4. Learn to say “NO” when you need to

  5. Express negative thoughts and feelings in a positive manner

  6. Receive criticism and compliments positively

Many of us struggle with being “Assertive” and this can often be as a result of messages that we received while growing up. When we were young, we probably heard the word ”No” many more times than the word “Yes” . Our parents were just trying to keep us safe, but our brain got programmed with the negative. How strange is it, that as adults, we now often battle to say “No” to others. There maybe many reasons for this, but some could be that we are scared to upset or disappoint people. These negative emotions or thoughts that were programmed into us can cause a disruption in the body’s energy system, causing us to struggle with certain areas in our lives.

EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture, but instead of using needles, we stimulate the energy meridian points on the body by tapping them with your fingertips. It has been proven that disruptions or blockages in these electrical pathways can cause limiting thoughts and emotions, which can lead to ill-health.

Connect with me here, to learn more about this amazing technique.

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