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  • Writer's pictureKim Colman



We seldom accept negative comments from others; however, we so often accept our own inner negative chatter.

Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of involuntary thoughts in a non-judgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts.

While the occasional negative or judgmental thought may have little impact on you, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening effect on your mood and your outlook. When you are aware of the tone of your thoughts, however, you can challenge them. Try to be conscious of your feelings, opinions, and judgments for a single day. Consider your thoughts from the perspective of a detached observer and try not to judge yourself based on the notions that come into your mind. Simply watch the flow of your consciousness and make a note of the number of times you find yourself focusing on gloomy notions or indulging in self-criticism.

As young children I am sure we all heard many words like:- NO,DON’T,STOP,YOU CAN’T and many other negative words. Parents, teachers, carers, friends and family possibly said these words to us. They were also words that were probably said to us in order to keep us safe. Our brains hold onto the negative far quicker than we remember all the positive things said.

As you become increasingly aware of your patterns of thought, whether positive and negative, you will gradually learn to control the stream of thoughts. In doing so, you then gain the ability to actively modulate your mood. The awareness you cultivate within yourself will eventually enable you to create a foundation of positivity from which you can build on in many ways.

A really good book to read on self-talk is “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self” by Dr Shad Helmstetter.

He also has a short YouTube video to watch which explains how self-talk works.

Here is the link below

Contact me here for any further assistance.

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